Monday, October 5, 2015

When your child disappoints you

Dear Readers,

Drugs, police cases, gangsterism, homosexual, transgender, failure in exams, fighting at schools, discipline issues ... I cannot write further. It is so much disappointment to parents when a child is found to have these issues. It has never in a parent's mind that their children would be in these kind of situations. According to Official Portal of Royal Malaysia Police, crime rate has been 35% decrease with 13,193 cases this year in Malaysia. Yet 13,193 are still a big number and this triggers red alert to all parents to ensure that they know their children whereabouts.

Social media has been our children's best friends and as we already knew, there are too many negative influences that may get to our children. We cannot live in denial as we always expect that "my child would not get the bad influence of social media". Not only social media to be blame, there are many other bad influence that can get to our children. Nevertheless, we cannot stop or put any boundaries towards this technology. We cannot separate today's technology or else, they will be left behind in terms of education and also soft skills for current market needs.

When bad things has happen; as parents, you may continuously asked yourself;
  • What did I miss? 
  • What did I have done wrong? 
  • Why should this thing happen to my very own child? 
  • Who to be blamed?
  • Why doesn’t the school noticed about this? (blaming the school would be the worse idea)  

Slash away all of these questions. Stop blaming others and start to find the solutions. Admit that the damage has been done and do not forget that there is always second chance for your child to be better. They need us although they thought that it might be easier without us. We will always be their facilitator in life. But the most important thing DO NOT GIVE UP on them. There is always hope and help from many source. Parents should be strong enough to face the 'rebel' actions from their children. It is not easy to achieve but it is doable. The question is, what should we do when this thing happens? Alert!! Parents should be prepared.

1. Stronger than the stone

Stop the negative emotions. Keep positive. You need to be stronger than your child. Bare in mind that there is always way no matter how hopeless things will get. Being mentally strong is crucial in order for parents to accept current disappointment, and change it into a challenge to get things right. After all, diamonds are only charcoal that survive under very high pressure.  

2. Plan plan plan

Failure in planning is planning to fail. I believe that Moms know the best and Dads are the superhero of the family. Combine your ideas together in order to pull things back together. A draft plan would help. Please acknowledge that your child is your friend. DO NOT SCARE THEM with your FEARFUL PLANS. Keep this plan between you and your spouse.

3. Get help from professionals

When things get beyond your control, do not hesitate to get help from others. It is not really a good idea to get help from people who are close to you. This will add more pressure to your family and also to your children. They may give 'perceptions' towards your family and will be judging on your child's wrong doing. Nowadays, there are many agencies that offers professional help in terms of consultation and even self-enrichment program. This might help you to handle the situation better. 

4. Healthy and quality times

Find time to have activities with your children. If your children are difficult to handle, and refuse time together, you may start with small-chat-time. You may also use the 30 seconds formula whereby you should try to give them some advice 30 seconds every night before they sleeps. It will not only build bonds between parents and children, it will also trigger the children common sense.

5. Love love love

Children need love from their parents. They need our attention. Love your children unconditionally. But stay firm in your decision that you think best for your children.

p/s: 693 words.

This is an article produced specially for upwork :)

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